Just as I was wrapping up my traditional morning scream at Lord-All-Mighty for cursing me with this gift of life, I heard a gentle rapping, rapping at my chamber door. I opened said chamber door to find a freshly milled paper notebook, an ink pen, and a movie film theater ticket for an afternoon viewing of a movie film titled, “The Wolf of Wall Street.”
With the exception of any sort of financial compensation, Optimism Vaccine had somehow, for once, provided me with sufficient supplies to complete a legitimate movie film reviewing article assignment. Thinking quickly, I leaped outdoors, mounted my neighbor’s child’s bicycle, and pedaled with haste towards my local movie film theater building establishment.
The local movie film theater honored my movie film theater ticket pass and I was allowed inside. I purchased some hot-buttered popping corns in the lobby and proceeded to sit down between rows and rows of wholesome families. I retrieved my writing pen from my pleather vest and prepared to meticulously detail the movie film events I was about to witness.
My completed movie film synopsis of plot is as follows:
Jordan Belfort is recent college education graduate embarking upon a camping backpack self-exploratory getaway in Manhattan. He is accompanied by his companion and bestest of friendals, Agent Patrick Denham. The two men are stuffed to the bursting point with enthusiasm and youthful penis boners, but sadly, they will soon discover the twisted mind-shitting horrors that lurk on the Wall Streets at night.
While approaching the financial district a few days into their gleeful trash-soaked New York hiking-walking trip, Jordan and Patrick stop into a local alcohol pub bar. Once inside, they are coldly stared at by the eerie and anxious local alcohol pub bar patrons because the boys stupidly inquired about a strange pentagram hastily carved into the wall. The eerie and anxious local alcohol pub bar patrons tell the boys starring in the movie film to not ask stupid questions, and to not look directly into moonlight without protective eyewear, and to avoid the Wall Streets at night, and to leave the local alcohol pub bar.
The boys leave the local alcohol pub bar and look directly into the moonlight without protective eyewear and walk over to Wall Street.
Upon walking down the Wall Street, they are stopped by a werewolf monster man who asks if he can have a cigarette. The boys tell the werewolf monster man that they do not smoke cigarettes and that cigarettes are bad for bodies and that they do not have any cigarettes, so the werewolf monster man eats Agent Patrick Denham and punches Jordan Belfort in his naive head.
Jordan awakens eleven days later in healthcare hospital facility bed to find, to his horror, that he has grown a substantial patch of chest hair and is now, himself, a werewolf monster man. Jordan is saddened by the turn of events in the movie film and knows that his career job future opportunity options have been severely curtailed by his disgusting new physical mutations.
Jordan ends up taking a job as a savage beast that smokes cigarettes on Wall Streets, and who also occasionally devour eats tourists that do not also smoke cigarettes because life is cyclical. A decadent lifestyle of lavish parties, sex, and drugs follows.
Jordan eventually burns out, spends time in prison jail, and finally picks up a new life selling real estate to dracula vampires.
Overall, this movie film melted the bitter heart of this hardened movie film reviewer. The fast-paced harrowing tale of protagonists facing tremendous risks against adversity while experiencing life-affirming symbolism and finally reaching a thrilling conclusion was overwhelming. I spill dumped hot-buttered popping corns down the backs of the shirts of movie film theater patrons seated in movie film theater seats in front of me at least seven times. Anyone with eyeballs lodged in their eye sockets should sit through this movie film now!