Devlin Satanfingers

Devlin Satanfingers wasn’t hatched; he was born. Devlin Satanfingers doesn’t sleep good at night because his ventilator is strictly inserted for vanity. Devlin Satanfingers has 18 tattoos, all of them press- on, all of them glittery. Devlin Satanfingers still has training wheels on his radical tricked-out Civic. Devlin Satanfingers knows better than to stick his guns down the front of his pants, because Devlin Satanfingers doesn’t trust what he sees on his TV. Devlin Satanfingers sets trends because Devlin’s dad rocked acid wash jeans and teased 1980’s hair during the 1950’s. Devlin Satanfingers has always flushed without looking, and left it float on the few occasions in which he looked. Devlin Satanfingers doesn’t think too much of the establishment, because the establishment rarely thinks of him. Devlin Satanfingers keeps up on his correspondences, but tragically never uses postage stamps. Devlin Satanfingers wishes he could be more like Jessica Fletcher and less like Angela Lansbury. Devlin Satanfingers tends to prefer the look of a sombrero while consuming milk and cereal.

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