Christmas is a time to celebrate everything that makes modern life worth living: mass consumerism, unchecked gluttony and of course, FAMILY FUN. Once the presents are opened and the dinner table is cleared, you might find yourself in the unenviable position of figuring out what to do with a room full of adults and screaming children. Aunt Janet will insist on a rousing game of Pictionary, where frustration rules the day as your kin repeatedly mistake abstract art speed drawing with effective visual communication. Your uncle will take refuge in the garage, chain-smoking Marlboros and grumbling about how no one wants to watch Die Hard this year, AGAIN. Finally, Grandma will dust off the well-worn copy of Miracle on 34th Street she taped off TV during the first Reagan administration as you nod, defeated, and scroll through a list of local convalescent home options on your phone.
But this year will be different. This year you’ll be ready. It’s time to start a new holiday tradition that will alienate your loved ones and potentially cause a deep, irreparable rift in your family the likes of which you’ll never recover from. These are the only three movies you should be watching on Christmas this year. Read More